For Your Meditation

“Whenever someone sorrows, I do not say, “forget it,” or “it will pass,” or “it could be worse” — all of which deny the integrity of the painful experience. But I say, to the contrary, “It is worse than you may allow yourself to think. Delve into the depth. Stay with the feeling. Think of it as a precious source of knowledge and guidance. Then and only then will you be ready to face it and be transformed in the process.” ~ Peter Koestenbaum

A Grief Poem

I love this artist….Kate Rainbow

I came across this lovely poem by Nancy Cross Dunham on the Modern Loss Facebook Page. I highly recommend this group for grief support.

what I’m learning about grief …

is that it need not be

a heavy gray shawl

to wrap myself in,

clutching my arms tightly

across my chest

nor …

need it be

a granite rock

that I should try

to push away

neither is it …

… at least, no longer …

a vast dark ocean

ready to pick me up

and slap me down

without warning

what I’m learning about grief …

is that it is not me,

but that it offers

to become a friend

a friend …

who will lightly lay a hand

on my shoulder

when tears come in the dark

a friend …

who will laugh

out loud with me

at remembered silly moments

a friend …

who can still hear

the music of our life

what I’m learning about grief …

is that this friend

doesn’t intend

to leave me

but promises

to hold my hand

to carry my memories

a friend …

who will bear witness to my love

as I venture

toward the next day

and the following night

Stay Home & Write A Letter

It’s been 3,263 since I lost my son. While some are facing a virus with panic, hoarding and a degree of chaos, I, on the other hand, have a strange sense of courage and calm. I suppose I can thank William for this “no fear” approach to this overwhelming illness. In fact, I think if he were here and working at a hospital he’d call me up and make me laugh saying, “Mom, we are punching corona virus in the face”. Ever confidant in his abilities, love for family and this great country of ours, yes, that is what he would say. Even in death, ever the protector. Thanks, son.

His 2006 Taft School yearbook page

William has always had an effect on people. Mostly positive I would like to think, but I am his mother, so what else would I say? Right? Recently, I received a letter from one of his high school classmates. It took courage for her to write it. Nine years ago she didn’t have the words, but she so eloquently has them now. She writes:

  • William had a profound impact on my life
  • He greeted me with the warmest of smiles
  • He made a significant effort to connect
  • He took the time to ask how I was
  • Will’s friendship and kind words were a source of great happiness
  • He made my life better

I am so grateful for a letter like this and to connect with this young lady. It reminds me that all these years later he is not forgotten and still so very much loved. That boy <3.