Post-Script

 

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Like a magnet to the North Pole I have been pointed back in this direction. My moral compass has led me to share a few more words in celebration of my son. The new stories from friends, family and complete strangers took me by surprise. As they emerge they will be preserved here rather than forgotten. While I thought I had nothing more to share there is a bit of wisdom left.

Mostly, the goal is to share the comfort of angels and assist those struggling in their grief. Hopefully, this blog will encourage mourning. Mourning is publically sharing your grief as opposed to grieving which is taking all your feelings and stuffing them into a container that no one else has access to. As much as you fear those judging you and not accepting you “moving on” my advice is to open up and just let them have it. Go public with your grief.

In the words of my lovely friend Mary Alice who recently lost her husband:

When people ask me how I am my response is, “I’m fine until I’m not”

Could 5 simple words be more courageous and empowering? It’s a right in your face invitation to have a natural conversation about the human capacity to give and receive love. Isn’t that God’s greatest gift? Accept the invitation to chat and you will breathe life back into the broken-hearted.

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thank you for breathing life back into those around you

16 thoughts on “Post-Script

  1. I love this. I love seeing you surrounded by beautiful, capable women sharing your love of cooking. I love Mary Alice’s quote. I can see how that would be the perfect statement. It makes so much sense. I think your posts are helpful beyond words to those who are mourning and even those who are not yet mourning but obviously one day will be. I love you. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.

    • It’s an uncomfortable subject but such a natural part of life. Allowing someone to mourn and encouraging them to share is a true act of love.

  2. I personally love your words of loss, love, grief and encouragement. I hope that you won’t stop writing, although I understand the need to find other ways to process your feelings, or even the evolution of feelings that allows changes in your life and activities. I can’t imagine being in that place, yet, where I move into a different emotional place. Thanks Lisa.

    • Your public mourning with felted stones is such an inspiration. We will always have questions and turmoil, but at least we can continue to live a good and love-filled life. ❤

  3. “Welcome back, Good Grief Cook … and Will.” Though I know you have never really left.

    For me, some of the best moments are when friends and family bring Meghan or Eileen into our shared presence by offering me a memory, an expression of love for them, or a wish that one or the other, or both, were physically here to be a part of today.

    For the truth is that both Eileen and Meghan are forever present here with me, with us.

    As is Will.

    And even if others may not be able to notice their presence, I know that you and I do.

    • I just could not stay away because “stuff” keeps happening. The angels will never let us rest although William really did surprise me here. I thought he’d be happy for me to shut the heck up (lol). I think because our hearts are open to the conversations our friends and family are comfortable chatting up Will, Eileen and Meghan. I want grievers to know that it is so very powerful to do the same.

      • Unfortunately, there are some (with the best of intentions) who think the only way to move forward through grief is to “let go” of those who we have lost. While I accept that that may work for some who grieve, I suspect for most of us it does not work that way. We do not love them in the past; we continue to love them. Healing happens as we carry them forward.

      • I agree. I think for some the painful emotions of grief are quite difficult to express, however, in a safe and accepting environment there could be less inhibition and thus a willingness to come out. I do love the image of us carrying our people with us. Think about how many people Eileen, Meghan and William carried in their short lives. Follow in their light.

    • This kind of support reminds me that the words have meaning. I suppose the coming and going and coming back is just part of my own internal struggle. The natural rhythms of the journey.

      • Sure. The good news is you can always come back, and just go with the flow. That’s what I love about blogging. If the spirit moves me, I post. If not, no.

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