Grief & the Garden

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hellebores are first to greet me

Hitting the proverbial wall. It is that time of year. Just like that stopped in my tracks. Has it ever happened to you? I kind of anticipated it, but after 6 years I wanted to think it would be easier. How to battle back and cross the bridge? It’s April. A double edged sword. Maybe it is a blessing that I hit the wall only once a year since his birthday and death day are just 6 days apart.

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pulmonaria breathes new life into the garden

The weather has been cold and wet, but I find my place in the garden. Pulling weeds, spreading 6 yards of mulch and planting seeds is good for what ails me. It’s physically hard work. Like my heart, my back is aching. It reminds me I don’t really act my age, but down on the ground there are signs of new life. It’s worth it. If a plant that looked completely dead a month ago can make a come back so can I. That is the dirt. It has healing powers and as I wash it away from my hands so goes the anguish down the drain. Another day forward.

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12 thoughts on “Grief & the Garden

    • I love him too much and I thank God for the garden work that allows my mind to wonder and forget he is gone. There in lies rest.

  1. Lisa, I crave the sun and flowers, but I embrace the comforting dark of winter all at the same time. There are always reminders of loss even in joyful moments. Spring always reminds me of our last season with Aidan. We spent so much time outdoors. I know that you are filled with the memories of all the joy that Will left behind, and I hope they help to cushion the blow as you hit that wall. Peace

    • Isn’t it strange how the darkness of January and February brings comfort while the onset of spring initially brings dread. I am grateful, as are you, for those days on the lacrosse field. ❤

  2. Be sure to plant forget-me-nots” as another way to honor the memory of Will. They are a splendid burst of blue that brightens a shady corner. Sending hugs to you and Bill.

  3. Hello Lisa,
    I still have much sadness the month of November. Like you William, Zachary BD and death just 8 days apart. It will never change, some years are sadder than others, but the grief will never completely go away. Thoughts and prayers going out to you…

    Maureen

    • I think about you and Zachary often and especially in November. I remember those events like yesterday. Love to you, too

  4. Beautifully written as always. I understand the heartache, and hitting the wall. I’m already contemplating September 2nd – 20 years since my Corey left Earth for everlasting life. I have my ups and downs even after all this time and expect I always will…I’m sure it’s normal. Wishing you peace along with smiles and joy as you remember your Sweet William. XO

    • Thank you sweet friend. You just always make me feel what I am going through is normal and I am grateful for that. Your honesty about what lies ahead is helpful, too. Peace to you, too

  5. Thinking of you and your family so much. This is our first Spring without our Sweet H. How can there be new life without our dear boys? I don’t understand the cycle of life anymore.

    • I know this is so very hard to fathom and it is wrong to say it gets easier as time goes by but somehow a time comes when there is a bit more peace and beauty is once again enjoyed.

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