A Grief Moment In Time

 

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Once in awhile I am briefly pulled down in to a dark moment in time that leaves me hanging by a thread. Maybe the sudden loss of my oldest brother last month, or the upcoming holidays or even learning that a dear friend needs surgery has had much to do with my latest anxiety. A big loss on top of a big loss. Now two empty chairs at Thanksgiving dinner. Waiting on a pathology report. Oh, the many ups and downs of grief can be frustrating. Just when I thought I had stabilized like a perfectly whipped cream I am deflated.

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For the most part, the demands of every day living have allowed my grief to settle down. I certainly no longer mourn 24/7. Having a taste of normal only makes the resurgence of grief more intense and thought provoking. What the hell? Grief can flare even years later. Lesson learned. Be strong. Hang on to that thread and pull yourself up.

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Turns out that thread is my heart-string. It’s always there, it’s ever strong and no amount of grief can ever cut me loose. That invisible thread is attached to everyone I love, both living and dead. It took a simple children’s book to remind me of that.

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If you have never read the book, The Invisible String written by Patrice Karst and illustrated by Geoff Stevenson you should. “Written to calm a child’s fear of being apart from the ones they love” this book is just as appropriate for adults. It reminds us that we are never alone and always connected and bound by the power of love. Where does your string go?

16 thoughts on “A Grief Moment In Time

    • I wrote it for you and me and one of my Taft students who just lost her mom. You have both been on my mind. ❤

  1. Very moving Lisa. Your journey is filled with extreme emotions. Your strength picks you up and you continue forward. xoxo

    • You know Ronna with the upcoming competition I have not been sleeping well, so many details to tend to and the pressure I put on myself to represent my family in the actual recipes. They have to come from my soul or they are not worth cooking. No tricks up my sleeve. But I am tired and thus these thoughts. What a lovely book to help me snap out of it.

  2. {{{HUGS}}} to you, Lisa. My grief over the loss of Paul has been a mixed bag of emotions, of which I thought I would do better than I did. On one hand, I didn’t want him to linger at 90 years with extreme dementia but on the other hand, I was able to see, touch, kiss talk to him and feed him, even though he couldn’t verbally respond. Sadness pops up at unexpected times some days. Love to you. xxxooo

    • I am really happy that you are able to share these emotions here. It seems no one ever really talks about how hard it is with each and every kind of loss….a spouse, a child, a parent…the age doesn’t matter. The “quiet” must be difficult to manage after so many years together. Wish I could hug you through the computer. ❤

      • I thought the very same thing, Lisa. I did decorate my Christmas tree today as a week from Wednesday I will be going to my daughter’s in Arizona for Thanksgiving and staying almost 3 weeks. I didn’t want to have to think about decorating when I return on Dec. 6 so I hope to have the house all decorated before I leave. I am planning a Christmas Open House inviting friends on Dec. 18, which would have been Paul’s 91st birthday and need to honor him this year after his passing so I will be ready to make some appetizers for that day.

  3. Wishing you the best of the holiday season surrounded by those you love most. You have a beautiful spirit and angels amongst you. ❤

  4. I still look forward to your posts each week. 2 1/2 years later I still struggle daily. Your joy in cooking always lifts me. Sometimes it’s hard to explain to people that the string still exists and always will.
    Good luck with your competition. I’ll be looking for updates on Instagram.

    • So glad you are still here with me. I know that time puts us in different places with our grief, but I hope I can give you a small glimpse of a better and more peaceful future. Cooking is just a fun distraction that helps me celebrate the love in my life.

  5. I will be getting this book. Our journey has only begun, even though it has been 1 year. Thank you!

  6. Wow, your strength and resolve is inspiring and something I hope to learn from. It’s still so new and painful for us; like an open wound that refuses to heal. On some level, I don’t want time to pass without my sweet boy. But, as time passes, the four of us see that we can go on living with the love and support of our friends. I will be getting the book. Love and luck to you. XO

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