Mystery Solved with a Frozen Treat


On the banks of Lake Elise

I saw you on a lily pad

Smiling, sitting Indian style

With your arms reaching up and out

I reached to you and was happy

But then the sun rose

To tear-filled eyes

Dreaming again

thank you for the whoosh moment Kathy Adamson Romaniello

thank you for the Lake elise whoosh moment Kathy Adamson Romaniello

on the happy banks

on the happy banks

It remains a bit of a mystery how my son died that night and it’s a mystery how one can be happy and sad at the same time. It’s complicated and twisted when it comes to grief. The obvious is that one who has lost their person will always have a sense of sadness. That cannot be changed. With time, however, the sadness becomes more manageable and doesn’t interfere with day-to-day activities. Is there an occasional meltdown? You betcha, but those episodes are much more short-lived and usually triggered by, at least in my case, fatigue. A good night’s sleep and coping skills are restored. What’s your trigger? Identify it and try to avoid it.

so unlike him this photo always cracks me up

so unlike him this photo always cracks me up…thank you Van Sant family for this photo

Welcome happiness. It’s a choice. It’s all around us. See it in a stranger’s smile, smell it in the garden, feel it in a warm embrace, hear it in a song. To choose happiness and to feel joy is an option we all have. It celebrates your person. Reach up and out and embrace it.

a typical day at the beach with Andrew, Tyler and William

a typical day at the beach with Andrew, Tyler and William

And speaking of a meltdown, what a warm summer it has been. Want to know what makes me happy this time of year? It’s ice cream, gelato, sorbet, sherbet and well you get the picture….oh, wait-did I say frozen snicker bars? Yes, all kinds of frozen treats put a smile on my face. It’s no mystery that to make a tasty freeze only a blender is required.

Vitamix frozen beauty

Vitamix frozen beauty

My garden (which always makes me happy) is overgrown with cucumbers. Did you know that cucumbers have a prickly surface? I had no idea until I grew my own. Ouch-really prickly! And did you know that the borage flower tastes like cucumbers? How convenient that they are both ready for picking and eating at the same time (as long as you don’t use chemicals on your plants). Add some fresh pineapple, a few fridge staples and a high speed blender and we are in sweet frozen heaven. Happy summer-no ice cream maker necessary.

fresh cucumbers from the garden

fresh cucumbers from the garden

Fresh Pineapple Cucumber Sorbet

2 cups fresh pineapple chunks, frozen

1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, cut into chunks, frozen

½ cup silken tofu

½ cup plain Greek yogurt

2 tablespoons agave (adjust to your own desired sweetness)

1-teaspoon fresh lime juice

1 or 2 leaves fresh mint, optional

Place all ingredients into blender* in order given. Start on low speed and increase until mixture is smooth and well blended. Serve immediately.

Note: If you own a Vitamix use the Frozen Dessert setting

Note #2: if you prefer to drink your frozen concoctions just add some soy milk or juice to the blender and mix to your favorite consistency

no borage-use mint and another pretty flower for garnish

no borage-use mint and another pretty flower for garnish

13 thoughts on “Mystery Solved with a Frozen Treat

  1. Peace and Hope…you feel William now…and I know you will see his sweet face again…Someday…

    • I think the first year I was completely numb. In the second year the reality hits and it is the worst. By the third year some sort of acceptance happens and one has to take a path one way or another…4th year–take whatever joy one can grab

  2. Love that pic of Tyler, Andrew and William. Such a fun day at the beach, William was the ring-leader with sticking his face in the sand. Such a goof ball! Treasured memories for sure.
    PS: Going to try this frozen dessert, easy and looks so refreshing!

    • Yes-he was the ring leader and could charm all of us into doing some silly and crazy things. He left us with such happy, funny, silly memories. Somehow, he charmed me into writing this blog.

      • BTW I had a lump in my throat reading your poem. Beautiful and heart wrenching.

      • inspired by a dream I had the night before—-had no idea what I was going to write about until I woke up that morning

  3. Right now, three weeks after we crossed the threshold of losing Aidan one year ago, life seems to be my trigger. Each day has become a minefield to be navigated through very gingerly. So for now, I continue to get out of bed each day and do the best I can for myself and my family. Like you also commented, many people have warned me that year two is worse. So I try not to think about it, and focus on trying to enjoy some bits of joy before my oldest heads off to college. Not the last summer at home I imagined, but we’ll get through one day at a time. Really beautiful post and pictures.

    • My dear Krista take care of yourself the best you can this coming year. I won’t sugar coat it. It’s the toughest time, but I think one has to go through it to find any sense of peace. As the shock and numbness of the first year wears off the reality of my son being gone hits me like I have never been hit before. The world seems especially cruel as everywhere I turn something reminds me of my son. I am angry, I am sad, I have outbursts that I don’t know how to handle. I did unexpected things like take early retirement from my job and moved to another state. I had to do it to survive—it was about taking care of me. My best advice—surround yourself with people who love you and support you know matter what–they will hold you up and you will keep going……<3. You are never alone and Aidan is cheering you on.

    • You are my North Dakota sunshine. So happy our paths have crossed. My son would have loved you. Cucumber and pineapple very refreshing on a hot summer day

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