Divorce & Happy Wedding Soup

fresh Kennett Square mushrooms

fresh Kennett Square mushrooms

“For better for worse.” What better test of a marriage vow than the death of a child? Seriously, is there anything worse than that? It’s clear that a child’s death places a tremendous strain on a marriage. Distress, guilt, anger and confusion are the norms, in addition to the blame game and misunderstood grief responses. One would think parental bereavement is ripe for conflict. Add to this an author (Harriet Schiff in 1977 The Bereaved Parent) who reports that up to 90% of marriages end in divorce following the death of a child and divorce seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

my children

my children

The truth is the author had no scientific data to support such a high divorce rate. It is absolutely untrue that parental bereavement must lead to divorce. Let’s dispel the myth and simply present some facts. When divorce does occur it usually is the result of other problems that existed in the marriage before the death of the child.The death of the child was not a central factor in the divorce, but made the marriage less worth fighting for.

We said “for better for worse” 33 years ago this week. Happy anniversary to us ❤

Marriages do survive after the death of a child. It takes communication like every other conflict in a marriage. In fact, relationships can become stronger and more unified. Personally, I could not have survived my son’s death without the support of my spouse. He allowed me to grieve in my own way. He gave me space. He gave me comfort. He held me up at my most fragile times. He was strong when I was weak; I think I did the same for him. We are still doing it. It is a deeper commitment. Through thick and thin.

albondigas mushroom soup

albondigas mushroom soup

Thick or thin? How do you like your soup? Autumn is the perfect time for weddings and for soup. The leaves are lovely shades of green, red and gold with glorious blue skies as the backdrop and fresh farm produce is abundant. Mother nature really gets this time of the year right with cooler days and nights. Perfect soup weather. This recipe just won the “blendability” award in a contest sponsored by The Mushroom Council and Life of Dad Blog. Notice the technique for cooking the mushrooms and blending it with the meat. It is a healthier and more delicious way to eat. Give it a try.

Meaty Mushroom Albondigas Soup

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion

4 cloves garlic, peeled and left whole

16 ounces assorted mushrooms, finely chopped in food processor

½ pound ground beef

½ cup chopped cilantro plus additional for garnish

1 tablespoon seeded and minced chipotle chili in adobo sauce

1-teaspoon kosher salt

1-teaspoon ground cumin

1-teaspoon ground coriander

¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 (15 oz) can diced tomatoes

6 cups chicken broth

2 cups stemmed and sliced fresh shitake mushrooms

1 ripe avocado, diced

½ cup sour cream

lightly salted tortilla chips

Heat oil in large saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic; cook for 5 minutes or just until golden and soft. Transfer half the onions and all the garlic to a blender. Transfer the remaining onions to a large mixing bowl; set aside. Increase heat to medium-high. Add chopped mushrooms; cook, stirring occasionally, until mushrooms have released all their liquid and begin to brown. Transfer mushrooms to bowl with onions; cool 10 minutes. Add ground beef, cilantro, chipotle, salt, cumin, coriander and pepper to mushroom mixture; blend well. Shape mixture into walnut size meatballs; set aside. Meanwhile, add tomatoes to blender with garlic and onions; process until smooth. Pour tomato mixture into saucepan and cook over medium-high heat, stirring, for 5 to 10 minutes or until thick. Add broth and sliced mushrooms; bring to a boil. Add mushroom-meatballs, reduce heat and simmer, partially covered, for 10 to 15 minutes. To serve: in each soup bowl place a portion of avocado. Ladle the soup into the bowl. Top with a dollop of sour cream and a small handful of tortilla chips. Garnish with cilantro.

16 thoughts on “Divorce & Happy Wedding Soup

  1. When we are young and idealistic and standing at the altar we know that there will be hard times, but no one foresees a tragedy like the one you have experienced. You two are a testament to making good on the promises that you made to each other. Happy anniversary and here’s to many more!

    P.S. The soup looks absolutely delicious. Can’t wait to make it this fall.

  2. Congratulations on your anniversary. Marriage is difficult enough and losing a child just adds to the stress. Yet, for some, including myself, my marriage has survived, despite some rough patches through our grief, we have held on and are much stronger now. Blessings to you. What an inspiration!

    • I am very happy to know that you and your husband have made each other stronger,too. I know you and your children are very blessed to have each other. My hope is that we are the norm and that more parents stay together than not.

  3. Bill looks downright dapper in that “Tommy Bahamas” chair 😉 And you, as always, look lovely. ❤
    Here's to you and Bill, and 33 more years of bringing it back to love. Love always wins.

  4. Your blog posts are always heart warming, and so is this soup! I’ll have to give it a try! Hugs, Lisa! See you soon in VEGAS!!!!!!

  5. Thanks for this, Lisa. I have passed it along to a couple who are on the road you and Bill are walking with such grace. You have a gift. Thanks for sharing it!

    • I am very sorry to hear that another couple has lost a child. With your love and support and guidance I hope they will unite as one again and help each other through this terrible pain. The reward of that hard work is within their grasp.

  6. You my cousin, are a remarkable person. My wish to you both is Happy Anniversary!

    • Thanks! I think it is because we came from such a loving and “remarkable” family. We learned how to love and commit to each other. Growing up surrounded by cousins and grandparents and the best aunts and uncles….as you see here…I am still surrounded and held up by my “remarkable” family.

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